Have a Giggle 2

[Lozzel]

SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she
loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Caldwell,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our
store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Caldwell,
are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice,'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her
Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing
management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
lay away.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were
called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practised his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a foetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of
the clerks passed out.

[Prof]

[kasak]

What kind of bedding you needed, don't you think you need mattresses for campaing?

[pink nipper]

Man it's been way too long since I have posted, not that I have done much
fishing lately

Anyway ....

I thought I had met the perfect woman
when I was fishing up in Cairns some years back.

One day when she was out shopping I
looked in her clothes rack and couldn't
believe what I saw. There was a police woman's
uniform, a French maids dress and a nurses outfit.

Of course when she got home I dumped her immediately,
it was obvious the poor girl couldn't hold down a job.

Nip.